Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
where am i from again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
