We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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