I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Houston, we have a blender
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
And then he peed in my hair
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