Whod you bang
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just had sex bonerless
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
