If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
