What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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