I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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