Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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