I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
