I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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