Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
