Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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