tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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