i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I love you. Go after that dick
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
