when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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