im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
there is glitter all over my balls
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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