the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
