shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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