I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
