when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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