THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
