I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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