so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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