Duck Duck Cougar?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
