this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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