i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
