I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
