This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
honey bunches of taint.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
