what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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