I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize