So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
