Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
one might say we're banned from that church
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
