Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
