Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize