I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
