I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize