you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
