i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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