let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
