"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
