How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You have to summon your inner elephant
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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