Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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