I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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