If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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