I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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