Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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