Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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