Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
