I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
