is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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