Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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