girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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