if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't deserve a penis
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
