Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
