you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
