i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize