every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
