I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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