I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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