just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is wine microwaveable?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
