Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
