im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
