is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
