from now on my penis is your penis
well I can't set my house on fire every night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
