Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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